The real story of Elena and Stefan
by fuknuckles
Summary: Somethings are inherently headed towards disaster- Stefan and Elena were no exception. They had been and always would be completely wrong for each other... But their love was epic-it denied logic. But then Stefan's ripper fiasco with Klaus had torn them apart. A Stelena story of Lost love. Undeniable attractions and inescapable fates. Is there hope of a future for Stefan and Elena?
1. Chapter 1

There had never been any doubt for Elena, Damon was fun but he wasn't Stefan. It was just a shame that Stefan had been diagnosed with a case of self imposed isolation.

After being released from Klaus's compulsion, they had all assumed that things would return to the relative norm although no one really had any idea of what that entailed. For Elena though it had certainly meant the return of Stefan into her life which was something she had been craving for months. Living without Stefan was like breathing underwater - every breath was a struggle. Damon had been there though, like an oxygen mask under the water. It was only a temporary solution though, eventually the oxygen would run out and she would be left gasping again. It had to be Stefan.

Although to say that Stefan wasn't in her life in any capacity wouldn't be entirely true - he had been there - to threaten to drive her off a bridge and through generally hostile interactions. He had been forced to turn off his emotions by Klaus which was one of the hardest things that Elena had ever witnessed. As the light in his eyes turned stony and harsh, every line on his face conveyed a renewed sense of menace - he was completely unrecognisable. She though t that would have been the hardest thing she would ever witness. But she was wrong. completely. That moment was far outdone on the night that she first crossed paths with Stefan after his release from Klaus.

_Elena:_

Normality seems like an unattainable goal at this point. Each day I find myself haunted by _his _presence. subconsciously I revisit our favourite places - but it is to no avail. I'm searching for a ghost, but even his spirit doesn't reside here anymore. _I can't let him go though, I Need to find him, to unshackle him from the prison he's been confined in for months. _Lost in her own thought, Elena had been wandering aimlessly down to the Grill where she was meant to meet Damon in an hour. Since Stefan's departure, she found it increasingly more difficult to find refugee in her home...her kitchen...her bedroom. Memories of their time together lingered, with a tantalising allure that she could easily lose herself in. That is, at least, until the shattering knowledge of Stefan's absence comes crashing down on her again and she can barely take it.

Head down, she marched forward assuming that it must be about time. As she navigated the sea of people walking along the snow dusted street she cautiously marched on. _One step after another_. Suddenly her feet fell out from under her on her she found herself barrelling towards the ground - face first. She braced herself for the inevitable impact but was surprised to find that that the ground wasn't as cold as she thought it would be... or as hard. It did, however, provide a type of relief that had been missing from her life for too long. It was like inhaling for the first time and not like before - this was clean, fresh air. That was at least until she pried her eyes open and found herself looking directly into _his_ eyes. They were different this time, the flare of life flickered behind them, illuminating them in a more beautiful light than she had seen in months.

"Stefan..."


	2. Chapter 2

_Stefan_

I'm an idiot. I should have been paying more attention. I should have smelt her earlier, but perhaps somewhere in the depth of my mind, I did smell her. Maybe my obsession with her had reached a climax to the point where I was now subconsciously finding her wherever I went. It appears that it's too late for after thoughts though, as her warmth radiates into me, chipping into the cool exterior that I have worked so hard to create. It hits me then suddenly, as I find myself leaning into her, I have worked too hard to push her away, there is no going back now. The look in her eyes is deceiving and I almost believe that all of the pain that I have caused her could be forgiven. But then I look at her. Really look at her for the first time. Her face is hollow, her eyes dull. Her hair lacks the shine it used to have. She is pale beyond belief and thinner than any healthy human should be... This revelation ignites a burning ember in my chest, threatening to engulf me completely and I'm suddenly grateful that I breathe at a slower rate than humans. In spite of all of the signs of distress that emanate from her, she is still like a shining beacon beckoning me back home. In that moment that of my utter adoration of her that I realise that she is leaning towards me too, her hand slightly extended towards my face. Apparently the months of endurance that I have had to suffer through have been to no avail, _her love is so pure... so forgiving. _But she is a hundred years too young to know the truth of my journey's with Klaus. The torment that followed me. The suffering... I needed to inflict the final blow. Apparently the rendezvous at the bridge wasn't enough.

_"Katherine..."_

The look of shock and pain in her eyes was enough to unravel me. There was such hurt and betrayal on her face, as if she was seeing me in a new light for the first time- like she had really and truly lost hope for my redemption at this point. Somehow subconsciously I think that I too clung to the unwavering faith she had in me, and that simple word had pushed the stake fully into my flesh.

As tears began to stream down her face Elena slammed her fist into my chest while struggling to get released from my grip.

"Just wait would you, you're-!"

"Let me go!" She spat, still struggling.

The shock in her eyes had quickly morphed into fury. Her hate for me was palatable. That look when combined with the menacing tone of her demand shocked me enough for me to release her immediately- an action that I regretted immediately when I watched her plummet to the ground and make contact with a sickening thud. What I would give to reach out to her and just hold her close. But that would undo all of my work up to this point. _This is what you wanted you idiot._ I staggered backwards, starting at my quivering hands. I had known that I was a monster when I was acting as the 'Ripper' but after watching Elena laying there, crumpled and broken, I had never hated myself more. Never seen myself as such a disgusting monster. I had to get out of there. I had to leave before her betrayed eyes sought me out again.

With all the speed and strength I could muster, I struggled against my immobile legs and dashed away from her as fast as I could. I kept pushing, digging deeper and deeper until I finally reached the cool embrace of the forest edge. As I plunged myself into the shadows the thought of her laying there in the cold snow sucked all the strength I had conjured in my legs and I flew through the air, finally skidding to a stop some distance into the forest. I lay there, unmoving, thoughts of Elena haunting me...


	3. Chapter 3

_**Authors note: **__** So it has been brought to my attention that I have accidently spelt STEFAN wrong in my first two chapters AND I APOLOGISE IMMENSLY! I have amended this is my other chapters that follow and I apologise again - I watch the show, I don't read it (hahah) ANYWAYY **_**I appreciate that so many people have taken the time to read this so thankyou everyone. Please let me know what you think and if I should continue with this fan fiction! thank you!**

Since that day, Elena had stop looking for Stefan. She had stopped visiting their places and stopped avoiding her room. This was life for her now, and she was damn well going to live it. That's what she told herself anyway as she buried her crumpled heart deeply beneath layers of fake smiles and "I'm Fine" s. The feelings of numbness and isolation she felt now were only intensified through their resemblance to how she felt after her parents death. _You're parents didn't choose the path they went down. Stefan chose this._ She reminded herself this daily, hourly almost. It was like a silent mantra that she repeated both to reprimand herself and to maintain her sanity. Elena's reverie was shattered by the shrill voice travelling up the stairs.

"Oh my god Elena! move your butt!

Caroline Forbes. Caroline had been Elena's best friend for years now. They had shared just about everything together, from mud pies to bruises to boyfriends (Matt).

"Look I'm not so sure this is the best idea guys, I mean-"

"No excuses! It's been months since you saw Stefan, it's time to wake up and smell the human blood. He's NOT coming back. "

"Exactly. And the best way to get over you're broody ex... is through someone else!" Bonnie concluded.

Bonnie was Elena's other best friend. The three of them were as close as sisters...Or at least they had been. Elena would never voice this to either Caroline or Bonnie, but being with them was a constant reminder of Stefan. Usually no one would mention him or even dare to think about him around her, but they were too deeply involved. Caroline was a vampire and Bonnie was a witch - _not exactly the best company to keep when trying to erase the memory of your vampire boyfriend from your head_. Elena mused. But she could never tell them. It wasn't their fault - and she was perfectly aware that she was being irrational - but her irrationality was becoming a defining personality trait for her.

Now was not the time for self reflection though, and clearly this was not going to go away. _It's now or never...!_ Lame inspirational quotes swirling around her head like _You can do it! _and _The only way to achieve your goals is to go out and work for it!_ as she made her shaky descent down the stairs towards her friends.

"Seriously, is this even a good idea? I mean, she is _clearly _not over _you know who_ yet. And seriously, like is she going to totally freak out and blame us because I am so, not dealing with -" "Elena..." Caroline stumbled over her apology and Elena simply nodded. Caroline had never been one for subtlety and Elena had wondered when the inevitable "_Caroline Forbes verbal diarrhoea" _would occur. After which she would spend the rest of the afternoon not comprehending what she had said wrong, whilst also continually apologising for something that was '_apparently'_ inappropriate.

"It's fine Care." Elena said, mostly to placid Bonnie who was still reprimanding Caroline. To alleviate the tension in the room, Elena took to the one tactic she was sure would work - "so...What do you think?"

"Gorgeous!-

"Yeah absolutely! you look hot!-

"totally!"

Bonnie and Caroline's incessant desire to amend all of the issues and wrong doings in Elena's life was so endearing that she found herself actually smiling for the first time in as long as she could remember.

"So... How do you feel? Are you ready for this...?"

They both stood in front of her, staring intently, as if they could spot the slightest movement to show her internal distress - they probably could. They could probably see just how much she did _not_ want to do this tonight. But nevertheless, she had no other choice but to move forward with her life.

The doorbell rang before Elena could answer so she settled for an reassuring smile and a firm nod as she made her way to the door. With her hand on the door handle, she turned back to Caroline and Bonnie for one last show of support- to which they obliged, both holding their hands up, fingers crossed and wearing a smile that would surely be hurting their cheeks.

With a steady breath, Elena finally opened the door and revealed Xavier fumbling with his hair in the reflection. Caught in the act, the fumbling was only intensified as he just about threw the bouquet of flowers at Elena. Despite being one of her high school's most promising new football players , he was just about one of the most self conscious and clumsy boys she had ever met. Both of them stood, staring and suppressing nervous giggles as though they had been thrown straight back into the third grade. The silence stretched out between them and Elena found her eyes being drawn to the old straw mat they were standing on.

"Umm..."He began to speak but came up empty. The silence carried on as he fiddled with his sandy brown hair, head down. He behaved similarly to Stefan in that way. Self conscious in an elusive, tantalising way. When he was nervous he would duck his head and avert his eyes. The first time that Stefan had truly opened himself up to Elena and had allowed her to touch the dark veins below his eyes fondly came to mind.

Xavier cleared his throat and Elena was sure that he had finally said something but she hadn't heard a word, not even a murmur. _Don't do this. Just go have dinner. it's Just dinner..._ Elena silently scolded herself for drawing the comparison between the two and she instantly banished the thought from her mind. But the seed had been planted and she instantly found herself more drawn to Xavier, more attracted, more comforted by his presence... _maybe they weren't all that different after all? _Except that Xavier was human and fresh and without all the history.

"Hah... Sorry - I'm sorry, thank you for the flowers they're beautiful. Shall we go?" Elena flashed him her most charming smile.

"I would love nothing more." Xavier returned her smile and grabbed her hand as they walked to his car. Xavier was great. Perfect even... In theory. But that gesture alone was enough to send Elena's stomach hurtling down the road of regret but she couldn't deny the tantalising hit of adrenaline that had been shot directly into her veins. Deciding to go with this newly discovered personality trait was an easy decision, it was far more refreshing than the usual, depressing developments in her life. With a mischievous smile she provocatively bumped her hip into his, observing the shock wave being sent all the way up to his cheeks where a bright red blush spread across. This ignited a flare in Elena as she relished in the power she held over him.

...This could be more fun than she thought...


	4. Chapter 4

_**Authors Note: **_**Thankyou for taking the time to read my story. Please review if you can, I would love to know what you think and if I should keep writing this or not. There is more to come shortly so stay with me folks and ENJOY! :)**

"I'll be down in a minute!" It was a Saturday night and Bonnie and Caroline had deemed it as _Sleep over / Scary movie _night. This had been a favourite occasion of theirs since the discovery of everything mystical in Mystic Falls. With their knowledge of the supernatural, the girls loved that they were never truly scared of the things that had been fabricated by completely unimaginative directors with no inspiration what so ever. The event itself had been created by Elena after she started dating Stefan and things became... hectic. It had been a moment where they could stop worrying about the real disasters in their lives and instead they could focus on the superficial things- like boyfriends and clothing and particularly food, always food. But tonight was different. Tonight's gathering was simply a ruse and everyone involved knew it. What had been disguised as a simple meeting of friends was actually designed by Caroline and Bonnie as a _Set all things straight in the world of Elena _intervention - where advice and subtlety would no longer cut it. Unfortunately for Elena, this hadn't been the first intervention they had held for "her own good"- and she was sure it wouldn't be the last.

With a deep, soothing breathe, Elena put on a bright smile and hopped down the stairs, taking them two at a time. As if to further reinforce her enthusiasm, she had on a pair of brightly coloured leopard print pyjamas and pink fluffy bunny slippers. Usually Elena would sleep in a simple, navy singlet and some shorts but they didn't emit a _there's no need for intervention because everything is chipper in the realm of Elena _vibe which would be absolutely necessary for her to make it through the painful inquisition that was sure to follow.

Bracing herself for the inevitable, Elena walked into the lounge room and chose to ignore the whispers she had heard from upstairs where her name was flung around frequently. As soon as they sighted her, both girls fell silent in a way that only reinforced Elena's growing suspicion and a weighted silence stretched on. To break the tension, Elena plonked down in between the girls on the couch and pointed to her bunny slippers:

"Look Care, I know you have a particular diet... so I brought you dinner!"

"Hey! Elena that was uncalled for!"

Caroline wore a stubborn pout and attempted to be angry while both Bonnie and Elena stifled their laughter. Playing along, Elena pretended to be remorseful and apologised for the "insensitive joke" which only increased the trembling in Caroline's lips as she attempted to keep a straight face. While stuck in that moment, all red faced from holding their laughter back, they all made eye contact and that was enough for them to buckle and allow the built up laughter and tension to escape in the form of an infectious, side-splitting laugh.

After some time, the girls finally caught their breath and wiped tears from their eyes. Elena could see the girls slowly refocusing on their mission for the night and the atmosphere in the room became sobered.

"Look Elena..." Caroline begun.

It was funny really, whenever they held these interventions for any of them, Caroline would always start - including when it was Caroline's own intervention in which case she would just begin to ramble on about the situation in question. Elena had decided that it was probably best because Caroline talked the fastest, meaning that she could get all of the "we do this because we love you" crap out of the way the quickest and they could get down to dissecting the issue to "help."

"We need to talk," she continued. " We are worried for you, and it's because we care that we need to step in... We do this because we love you..."

At that point Elena began to phase out and subtly observe her surroundings. As she looked around she realised that the house itself had not changed in appearance at all since her parent's death - but the feel of it was different. It was lonely. She use to wake up to breakfast, on the counter and ready to serve, people bustling about through the Hallway, fighting for the bathroom before school or work. Those things were just shadows of memories for her now, they seemed so distant. So lost in the muddled catastrophe that had become her life.-

"Elena! I know what you are doing- I know that face! Look we really are doing this for you but we can skip that part because lately, you've heard this speech a lot. And no. Before you give me some snide remark - it is not because I like the sound of my own voice that I - I mean we, do this. And no. Everything is not "fine" so don't even give me that load of crap."

Elena sat on the couch, staring at her thumbs like a child that had just been scolded for not doing their homework. The worst part about the situation was, it had hardly even begun.

About this time, Bonnie thought that it would be a good idea for her to weigh in. " So you know why we are doing this. It's been three months since you and Xavier started dating and it's not healthy-

"Not healthy? You told me to start dating again so I am and if-"

"I am NOT finished!... As I was saying. It's been three months since you and Xavier started dating and it's not healthy _or_ fair on him. You can't tell me you honestly like him or even close to love him. He is great and all and of course a total babe, but you can't honestly tell me that he isn't you _Stefan _substitute - can you?"

Throughout Bonnie's speech, Caroline had been nodding along in agreement, but as this question was thrown to Elena, so was both of their penetrating gaze. The unfair thing was, you can't lie to a vampire. Especially not when someone has just mentioned the name of your ex who the mere mention of creates a yearning ache in the pit of your stomach and makes your heart stutter. It frustrated Elena-this reaction she had to him. Of course she knew that Xavier didn't mean as much to her as she did to him, but that wasn't to say that she didn't _care_ about him. Which, of course she did. But with Xav, their relationship was fuelled by passion alone. In all honesty, she didn't really know anything about him farther than the surface details and the same was for her. Often when she was with him she found herself craving more intimacy, more _real_ passion beyond the superficial. What she really craved was for someone who made her feel good about herself. Feel comfortable and loved. Someone who she could be with for days and she'd still miss them when they left. What...or _who_ she really craved was...

"Look, it's complicated. It's just different with me and Xav. It's fun and light and it's what I need right now."

She looked between her two friends who were sharing some kind of scrutinising look that she knew meant they were appraising the sincerity of her answer. After a long pause, Caroline turned her whole body back to Elena at faster than human speed and shook her head slightly- causing her blond ringlets to shiver.

"Nope. We don't buy it." She stopped briefly to hold her hand up to Elena to halt her protests. " It _WAS_ what you needed. Before. Like say, three months ago? But now, no. You are using him and it's unfair. He is a great guy, even Matt vouches for him so this isn't okay Elena and you know it."

At the mention of Matt, Caroline knew she had won. Elena had dated Matt earlier during high school before her parents accident, after which, she dumped him. He had never done anything wrong - in fact he had always loved and supported her, but she simply wasn't the same person anymore and couldn't love him back the same way. Now Matt was one of Elena's closest friends but that wasn't to say that he was over her. Matt still loved Elena to some degree and he always would. It was for that reason that he had taken so long to warm up to Stefan. Matt's underlying feelings for Elena were common knowledge and it was because of that alone that Caroline had mentioned him to cement her argument. If Matt approved - then he was a good guy. Simple.

"Okay fine Care. You win. So what do I do?"

As they suppressed their champions grin, both Caroline and Bonnie hauled Elena off of the couch.

"What you do..." Bonnie began while marching Elena towards the stairs, " Is get dressed-"

"And remove those offensive slippers!" Caroline bellowed after them.

"And meet him at the Grill and end things. Okay?"

"okay." Elena conceded.

_TO BE CONTINUED (DA DA DAAAA)_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's Note: **_**Thank you again to everyone for reading and sticking with me! Please review and let me know what you think! There will be more coming soon.**

When Elena had called Xavier asking him to meet her at the Grill, she could sense his suspicion growing. But sadly, at the same time, it was almost as if he exuded a defeated attitude - like he had been expecting this to happen for a long time. Of course, this was not a shock to Caroline and Bonnie who had predicted it would turn out this way - and not with any witchy premonition either. Perhaps the way that she thought she felt for Xav was completely off? She had always tried to give him as much of herself as she could... but maybe that had never been enough.

Wallowing in self pity and agonising guilt, Elena again took a deep breath and steadied herself as she descended down the stairs for the second time that night - this time with a much less optimistic attitude. It was funny really. How the same action could be completed but be fuelled by completely different emotions. How to an onlooker, the action would look the same no doubt, but how they were completely fundamentally different. Like her descent down the stairs, or holding hands with Xav, or kissing him. They all felt so different from when she was with _him_. She had tried to convince herself that it was because he was human - _Normal. _But she knew she was only kidding herself, deep down she had always known, because if she really thought about it, when she did those things with anyone other than Stefan it was just plain wrong.

Bonnie and Caroline were waiting at the bottom of the stair - one holding car keys, the other with Elena's coat.

"So, think you can do this?"

Elena tried to think of a positive response that would inspire confidence but came up blank. So she simply settled for: "Well it's now or never."

The clouds had come out tonight. It was as if they knew something bad was going to happen. If only they could have talked and avoided the inevitable...

It was colder than Elena had imagined for this time of year. She had not long arrived at the Grill and was waiting for Xav to arrive. She sat in a quaint little booth in the centre of the room - just in case things got ugly. Elena hated herself for thinking that way, for assuming the worst in Xav when he had only ever been kind and patient with her. _Well, crazy ex 'ripper' boyfriends tend to put you on the defensive front I guess. _

"Elena..."

She looked up and was greeted by the embodiment of sadness. Looking at Xav like that, defeated, unshaven and with his hair in disarray - she knew this was the right thing to do. She needed to let him go and let him move forward into a brighter future. But knowing that did not lessen the sharp nagging pain in her chest.

"Hey Xav... Have a seat."

"Look, I know where this is going and I'm fine with it, okay? I get that you aren't over your ex and we can take it slower if you want? I can see that he hurt you pretty badly but please? I know I can treat you better than him. You just have to want it because I know I sure as hell do."

As he pleaded with her he reached across the table and grabbed her hands tightly, as if to say that there was no way that he was letting go. This action, in conjunction with his speech only intensified her guilt of course and while she did consider just letting things carry on as they had, she knew that this pain in her chest would not go away until she finally let him go from this charade.

But then she felt him. The pressure of his gaze pushing down on her. Suffocating her. _He's Here._ Stefan sat at the bar observing this encounter. He had been on his way here anyway but had seen Elena's car and couldn't help but see where she was going. As he sat there, watching that brat holding her hands, begging her, he couldn't help but feel smug at the mention of himself as "the ex " that she wasn't over. That was at least until Elena responded:

"Look Xav, you're a great guy - no a fantastic guy, and I have been so lucky to have you these last few months, and it isn't because of Stefan. I hate him. I hate him more than anything else in the world and I want to have nothing to do with him again. It's just that I don't think I am ready for anything at all, with anyone. I've never really given myself a chance to enjoy being single you know? And I think I deserve the chance to do that, and you deserve the opportunity to find someone who is really worth all of your love and affection."

Delivering the speech itself was much less painful than Elena had first thought. Perhaps it was because of the underlying truth in everything that she had said? Or that she had finally gotten to hurt Stefan the way he hurt her months ago. Either way, it felt as if a weight had been lifted from her chest and she could finally begin to breathe again. That was at least until her airway was blocked again- this time by a very intrusive tongue. Before she had realised Xavier had lent across the table and kissed her with a force that made their teeth clatter together. That hadn't deterred him though, as she attempted to protest and push him away he grabbed her face and pulled her towards him with equal force. The way he handled her was usually gentle and kind and this new forceful side of him scared her more than anything else that she had seen- which she of course knew was obsured with all the vampire/murder shenanigans.

She felt so powerless and pathetic as she sat there - futilely pushing against his chest. The kiss didn't last as long as Xavier had originally intended though and instead he was violently flung across the room. He flew, suspended in the air for only seconds, but it felt like minutes as Elena waited for the inevitable touchdown back to the Earth. He crashed into - or rather, through - a pool table with a sickening thud and laid with his head swaying on his shoulders. Elena gasped as she saw the pool of thick red blood forming beneath him. A nauseating scream filled her ears and she looked around for the source of it until she realised that it originating from her. She quickly threw her quivering hands over her mouth in an attempt to quieten it as she watched, waiting for Xavier to move. She was frozen in place, knowing that she should go to his side, do _something_ but she couldn't. She was rooted to the ground like a dying willow tree. She felt dejected from her surroundings - like an onlooker, a shadow of a person. People were bustling around her as if the world itself was moving in fast forward.

It had been so long since Elena had witnessed something quite so horrifying. She stood in that moment and it occurred to her - disaster will always follow Stefan. Horror and blood will _always_ follow him. Forever. It is his curse. She looked over to him, expecting to see remorse on his face, or at the very least, in his eyes. But there was not even a glimmer of it there. Instead all she could find was a smug sense of satisfaction as if justice had finally been served.

Sensing her gaze Stefan turned to Elena and was met by her palatable hatred for him mixed with shock and anger. He hadn't intended to do this. Just seeing her like that with that other guy...It had set him off. Add that to the fact that she was clearly struggling against him and Stefan just... lost control. His need to protect her ran deeper within him than anything. It consumed him. It drove him. It was his purpose and his desire. But seeing the look on her face as she returned his stare he finally knew.

He had lost her. Now and forever. She was gone...


	6. Chapter 6

_**Authors Note: **_**So here it is everyone, your first taste of Stelena. Hope you like this chapter there will be more to come. PLEASE REVIEW so I can hear your thoughts CHEERS AND ENJOY EVERYONE :)**

Elena couldn't stand to watch any longer. The smell of his blood lingered in the air mingled with the memory of what had just occurred. She felt beyond sick. It was as if someone had just reached into her chest and ripped her heart out. He would live, but didn't deserve this. Self loathing began to encompass Elena as the realisation struck her. This wasn't Stefan's fault, he was - in his own irrational way- protecting her. No. This was _her _fault. Their whole relationship had been a ridiculous farce of her own making. The worst part about this sudden epiphany was that she realised that at no time had she even considered Xavier as her true partner or her way of moving on. Instead he had simply been a toy that she had used to taunt Stefan.

The sickening feeling completely washed over her now, sinking her into a thick pool of dread. She had to get out. Gathering all the strength she could, Elena pushed against her reluctant legs and began to move out of the bar as quickly as she could manage. The cool wind slapped her in the face and she braced herself on her knees while attempting to catch her breath. She stayed like that for what felt like eternity until she could finally fill her lungs with just enough air to satisfy the stabbing pain in them. After achieving some regularity in her breathing Elena pushed off her knees and stood up properly. She stood there, speechless as she stared directly into Stefan's mesmerising brown eyes.

"Stefan I don't know what you are doing here, I can't even... I can't even look at you so just go."

"Elena... I know saying sorry wouldn't be enough to make up for what I have put you through. And I'm not just talking about tonight. That guy-"

"Xavier"

"Okay, _Xavier_ was right. I did hurt you beyond belief and I truly _am_ sorry. After I was released from Klaus I wanted nothing more than to go and be by your side. But how can I live with myself? How can I deserve you Elena? After everything I've done..."

There was a pain that ran deeper in Stefan than she had ever imagined. She could see it in his every movement. His head was ducked low, hiding his eyes - his most honest feature. His shoulders were hunched forward. His skin was pale and hollow. _He is broken. _Elena was shocked by this revelation, but was more confronted by the fact that her hand was involuntarily snaking around his arm and pulling him closer. She expected immediate rejection and braced herself for the inevitable...But it never came. Stefan stepped into her embrace and ducked his head into her neck breathing her in for the first time in too long.

It felt so good to be held by her. It was like coming alive again after an endless, agonising slumber. Stefan had meant to shrug her off but he couldn't help but be enticed by her warmth and kindness towards him. He slowly allowed his hands to travel down the length of her back, revelling in the familiarity of the action, finally resting on her hips. He pulled her closer to him and she obliged. Their connection was unfathomable. Without a word they were communicating so much to each other. Asking permission as well as expressing their longing in each gesture. They fit together like sugar and coffee - they could be apart but were so much better together.

But then it happened. Stefan realised what was happening and began to pull away. He could sense that even after everything Elena was on the verge of forgiving him and he craved it above all else... But he couldn't _yet._ There was something he needed to finish.

"Stefan don't. Please." Elena knew she was being pathetic, weak and everything else she had always promised herself she wouldn't become, but she couldn't let him go again after he was finally coming back to her after so long. She had assured herself that she would never become one of those "we" people but everything just felt meaningless and empty when he wasn't there.

She clung to him even tighter although they both knew that it was futile. Stefan was too strong in his conviction and pried her off of him despite her best efforts. Tears began to pool in Elena's eyes as she relived the pain of losing him again.

"Please. Stefan... Just stay..."

Stefan couldn't bear to see her like that, knowing that she was breaking, piece by piece on the inside. She had duck taped her heart and locked it away, but the strength of those shackles were no match for the heart wrenching pain that Stefan inflicted. He lifted one hand to her face caressing her soft cheek gently and wiping her tears away. With the other, he took her hand and placed it over his heart.

"I'll be back this time. I promise. Okay?"

Elena was sobbing now as tears rained down her cheeks, she was sure that whatever she said would come out as a jumbled mess. So instead she turned her head to kiss his palm and simply nodded, fully trusting in the words he had spoken.

...For better or for worse...

_**Another [DA DA DAAAA] ... moment ;)**_


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Diary,

I saw her today. well.. that isn't entirely true. I saw her... and then I followed her. I can't stay away from her anymore. These last few months have been agony but I had convinced myself that even if I wanted her back, there was no way that she would want me anyway. But today... well today showed me that there could be hope. The thought of hope, even if fleeting, scares me. I haven't dared to seek it in months because it is too dangerous. It is like heroine for a drug attic, I crave it more than I care to admit. But I can't be with her yet. The distance between us now makes me sick but there is no other way.

I have to deal with Klaus first once and for all. I grow tired of the power he thinks he holds over me. I am tired of the fact that he can compel me to turn my emotions off. He turned me back into someone- no something that I hated above anything else and I will never forgive him for that. He forced me to let go of Elena who was the single most important thing in my life and it nearly destroyed me. But more importantly, every single time she would find me along my travels with Klaus it broke my heart more for two reasons. First, being that I could see the toll it was taking on her, both physically and mentally. But selfishly, the second reason still bothers me the most and it is yet another thing I hate about myself - add it to the list. Over time, I could see the bond that the she was forging with Damon and it tore me apart. History had a way of repeating itself and I don't think I could survive if she chose him over me. But as I watch them interact occasionally from afar, I can't help but be jealous. They have grown so much closer now, she trusts him and on some level, loves him. Damon's unwavering love for her is certainly no secret either and I can see that he revels in their new connection.

It isn't just Elena that Klaus took from me though - He took them _all._ I used to be the one that everyone went to when there was something wrong. I was the sensible, reliable one. But now... Now I was a loaded gun. Everything that was said around me was coded or sugar coated. In a way, I think they fear me. Or at least they fear the possibility that if they say too much it will overwhelm me and I will turn it off again. The pain of me losing my humanity was felt commonly among our circle but if I were to _choose_ that. I think that might shatter them... and me.

I am tempted to turn it off sometimes and that desire shocks me. When Damon turned his humanity off after he thought that Katherine was dead, I thought him nothing more than a coward. He was escaping from reality in his own way and it was pathetic. Why would someone choose a life free of pain, but also void of love, joy, compassion? - it didn't make any sense. But I think I understand now. As vampires, we feel everything much more acutely than humans, meaning that guilt, loathing and pain are all amplified. The thought of losing myself was almost enough to make me turn it off... But the idea of losing _Elena..._ there is no doubt about it, I would turn it off instantly. I'm stuck in this never-ending spiral and I can't seem to find my way out.

I am lost. Each day I sit down to write my journal entries but it's getting harder and harder to pretend that everything is okay - that _I _am okay. Because I'm not. I am barely holding it together - struggling between my desire to see Elena and my self-loathing. But underneath it all is an unrelenting hatred for Klaus and it consumes my every waking thought.

I need to end him- then I will deal with Elena.

One day at a time.

One step at a time.

One breath at a time.

I can't control myself around her. But I can't be away from her either. I will have to choose one or another but the thought of either option - having her or losing her- terrifies me completely.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Authors Note:**__** Hi all, sorry it has been so long since I updated, had a major case of writers block, let me know what you think of my story/ this chapter. Appreciate all feedback!**_

After that day at the Grill, Stefan had made it is his sole priority to hunt and kill Klaus. Although he had absolutely no way to _actually_ kill him, devoting all his attention to find that illusive cure was all that held him together anymore. In the depths of him where he had before been consumed by his love for Elena, he now felt this relentless yearning for Klaus' blood - it dwelled within him like an insatiable beast who was just barely contained. Although, all of his efforts had still resulted in nothing so far and he could only deny his growing frustration for so long.

With a sigh Stefan absently poured another scotch and blood - his own personal favourite spirit and a regular on his menu at the moment. He relished in the burning sensation in his throat as the dark amber liquid trickled down it. Ironically, it reminded him that he was the balance between alive and dead - the scotch to compensate for his mortal short comings, and the blood to satisfy his undead desires.

"You shouldn't frown like that little brother, you wouldn't want to ruin that pretty face of yours, would you? Then what would all the girls obsess over?" Damon sneered.

Side tracked by the thought of his mortality, Stefan didn't hear Damon's approach. Thinly veiled bitterness seemed to a thing of his at the moment, or at least when Stefan was around. He even struggled to remember what Damon looked like when his face wasn't contorted into a resentful snarl. Damon's mood swings had also become more frequent than the changing of tides and it was wearing on Stefan's last nerve.

"Something you would like to say, brother?" He returned without turning to face Damon but injecting the same malice in his words as his brother.

"Oh nothing really, I was just thinking recently, what is it that draws people to you?"

"Damon, I really don't have time to coddle your deflated masculinity right now so-"

"No really, I was wondering. Because lets think about this. So you meet a girl and you fall in love and its... _magical, _ you couldn't be happier- How am I going so far?"

In response to the prolonged silence that followed, Damon began again, this time with much more enthusiasm as he could see Stefan's hand tightening dangerously around his glass.

"Okay so you've fallen in love. Then you go off and be the big FREAKEN hero that no one asked you to be, and you sacrifice yourself for your useless- but charming- brother who is also in love with your girl- Are you still following little brother?"

As Stefan's frustration grew, he simply turned around to face his brother and took one long menacing stride forward.

"Cool it brother, there are no lady's here to impress with your brawn and bravery. So anyway where was I?... Oh yeah, listen up, this is the good part. So while you are away being the new and improved _ripper_ with Klaus, here the screw up brother is, looking after your girl. Then as he spends more and more time with her, he begins to fall even deeper in love with her, and he can feel the chemistry between them intensify. But here's the fun part, while you are off massacring innocent people, so all the fun stuff, I am here with your girlfriend, who for the first few months, doesn't think of anything but saving you. But over time you see, she begins to stop focusing so much on that, instead she starts to enjoy _that_ moment, the moments with _me, _and it feels _good._ So then, tell me, how is it fair that-"

Damon's elaborate tale was silenced in his throat as Stefan's hand shot out and grabbed him so tightly the veins in his arm were drawn out like road maps- each one mapping the pain mirrored in his eyes.

"Don't be a poor sport little brother, I'm not finished" Damon choked out around Stefan's hand.

This ignited Stefan's rage further and without thinking he swung his free first at Damon's cheek with all the force he could muster. His fist connected with a sickening crunch as the bones in the left side of Damon's face collapsed and he was sent flying across the room landing dangerously close to the burning fire place.

Blinded by his fury Stefan lunged at Damon again, it wasn't the story that had infuriated him, it was the truth that lied beneath each word and inevitability the truth that was to come that he couldn't bear to hear put into words. Stefan threw one of his legs out in a swift kick aimed at Damon's ribs, but he was faster. He grabbed Stefan's foot mid swing and within a blink of an eye he flung Stefan's leg back, dislocating it and then was on his feet, landing an agile blow to Stefan's eye to match his own. Stefan tried to regain his footing but couldn't put any weight on his leg and fell down in front of Damon. He hated showing any signs of weakness in front of his brother, but more than that, he hated that he would never be able to beat Damon without a diet of human blood.

Undeterred by Stefan's weakness Damon slinked forward with a menacing glow in his eyes and a snarling lip and without hesitation, plunged his hand into Stefan's chest, grabbing his heart.

"How easy it would be brother. To end you. I always thought that what united us was our blood but I was wrong. It divides us. You and I can never exist in the same town, the same country, the same _world._ Sadly for you brother, I like this world and since you did a fine job in disappearing for months after being released from Klaus, no one would notice if you disappeared again. They don't _need_ you anymore, they need _me._ _She_ needs _me._

_"_Damon you are living a fantasy, she loves _me, _ you were just the sub to keep the bed warm at night while she waited for m-"

Stefan's words were cut off as Damon squeezed dangerously on his heart and a thick veil of sweat began to form along Stefan's forehead and upper lip.

_How.. how can this be happening? I've wasted months, searching for this cure, running from my past and now I will never be able to hold her again... Kiss her again.. _

"It's a shame I won't be able to finish the story little brother but I think we all pretty much know how this one ends - I guess you can just wait and see from the other side anyway." Damon taunted as he slowly edged Stefan's heart out of his chest, pulling on the veins and arteries connecting it.

"NO what are you doing!? Damon stop!" Elena cried from the doorway- a look of horror plastered on her face. Stefan edged his glance up at Damon's face and saw that the arrogance and menace that he wore moments ago had been replaced with a look of anguish.

"Elena...I-"

"Let him go, NOW Damon."

Shocked by the venom and hatred in her tone, Damon instantly released Stefan causing him to fall to the ground in a heap. The strength had been completely drawn out of him and he could barely open his eyes, he needed blood, _badly._

Soft hands caressed his healing wounds and warm drops feel from above onto his cheek.

"Elena, please just listen..."

But Damon trailed off as he saw her complete devotion to Stefan, the instant she walked in that room, Damon hadn't even been there to her - he was simply blocking her view of Stefan. Without another word Damon vanished out the door but neither Stefan nor Elena noticed. She slowly moved his head into her lap and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Stefan, you're injuries, why are they taking so long to heal?"

"Low blood." he huffed, " I haven't been able to hunt much because I've been... researching."

"Do you have any blood bags?"

"No... Limiting... the temptation til... I have it under control."

"Stefan you need blood, drink mine. You've done it before and I trust you so don't even start. You won't hurt me, I know that. so you have to trust it too." She said while peeling her denim sleeve back to expose her wrist.

"Elena I can't-"

He was cut off abruptly as Elena shoved her wrist to his mouth.

"Drink. It's okay."

Stefan looked into her eyes for any hesitation but was only met with sheer determination and ...love. So trusting her faith in him -misplaced or otherwise- he drew his hand up to cup her wrist and guided it to him mouth where his fangs pierced the skin...

_**To Be Continued...**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Authors Note: So it's been a while, sorry everyone! Not my best chapter but I wanted to give ya'll something so I hope you like it. Just a warning, next chapter will be longer and will be M with some Stefan ELena sexy time ;) **_

_**Stefan**_

The first few drops of her blood poured into my mouth and the yearning ache deep in my stomach erupted. Unable to resist, I slid my fangs deeper into her flesh, coaxing more blood from her veins and revelled in the way it coated every inch of my mouth. It had been so long since I drank warm blood straight from the vein without any compulsion and it felt... _wrong _and yet so right at the same time. Slowly my eyes closed involuntarily as I sank my fangs deeper again, clutching her arm even harder than before so my fingers left small imprints.

I felt her flinch under my grasp, either from the pain of my fangs or my merciless grip - either way it was irrelevant. I could slowly feel it slipping away from me. My humanity. In moments like this, moments of pure pleasure and self-indulgence, I could understand Damon's perspective on the world. I could understand how much easier life would be like this. No. Further than that, not only did I understand it... I _wanted _it. My mind began to blank as I drew her blood in more quickly so it created a constant river in my mouth.

Her voice reached me softly through the fog in my mind and I had to strain to hear. I stopped drinking and focused more intently on the familiar sound.

"you never could, could you?

Her voice was lighter than usual... breezier. Something was _wrong._ The conclusion slammed into me with so much strength that it forced me to retract my fangs and loosen my grip on her arm. I slid my gaze over her, starting at her wrist with the tantalising red liquid dribbling from it to stain the carpet we sat on. Next I noticed my distinct finger marks encasing her wrist like shackles , they were already bruising, turning a deep, menacing purple as the blood pooled beneath the skin. A twinge of pain chipped at my euphoria as I was reminded again of who I was and what I could do when I lost control. But more than that, it hurt more that I was still savouring the her blood in my mouth- memorising the taste.

"could never what?"

It took everything I had to swallow the remainder of the blood so I could talk.

"You never could do anything by halves. You love too deeply. Hate too completely. It consumes you. Controls you. It's one of the things I love most about you, yet something that terrifies me more than anything. "

"what are you...?"

"Your love for me... Your hatred for Klaus. You have to let it go. Do you really think I can't see how drained you are? You are putting too much of yourself into this - it's destroying you."

I looked up at her tear stained face then my breath caught in my throat.

"How can you say that?" I couldn't help but sigh... "No matter how anyone looked at this, wouldn't they say that_ you _ love to deeply"

She tilted her head slightly in response causing a few stray hairs to fall around her face. My hand involuntarily reached towards her before I stopped myself. Fighting the urge, I lowered it before she caught it mid way and secured it where it belonged, cupping her cheek. The action alone felt like it had been played on a loop throughout our relationship - my hesitation and her instant love and reassurance. Lost in the feel of her skin, I forgot that I had been in the middle of saying something. Recovering slightly I cleared my throat and started again:

" Not only do you love too deeply, you trust to unconditionally. You're sitting here with a killer. Do you understand that? And don't tell me that that's what I am not who I am because we both know it isn't true. I don't drink blood because I have to, I tell myself that but deep down, I crave it more deeply than anything else - including you! Yet here you sit, with blood pouring from your wrist and a tear stained face and yet I can't get the fucking thought of your blood trickling down my throat from my head. I can't be who you need or who you deserve-"

"Stefan stop. _Look_ at me-"

"Elena stop. Look at _me._ You aren't hearing me.I'm saying I can't be who you need, but I'm too selfish to walk away anymore. Each time I watch you leave I can feel myself breaking. Lately it feels like the only thing actually holding me together anymore is the memories of what we had. "It was epic. And then the sun came up and reality set in," do you remember telling me that? This is reality, remember? You and me together. I'm sick of making excuses, I love you Elena and I won't apologise for that anymore."

Silence hung in the air again as response and my heart stopped. _Had I read it wrong? how far had things with Damon actually gone? _Her gaze held mine and the intensity overwhelmed me - I quickly hung my head and looked at our intertwined hands instead. Only then did I notice just how much blood she had lost this whole time from both her gaping wound and all of the blood that I had taken from her. Alarmed my gaze quickly darted back to her face and I noticed how pale her lips were as a small smile curled them at the edges.

"idiot" I mumbled with a slight impulsive chuckle as I slid my teeth along my wrist, cutting the skin easily before placing it over her mouth, just as she had done to me before. Mimicking me she gripped my arm, pulling my bloody wrist to her mouth and drinking until her wound was healed. Slowly she released me with a growing smile and finally said what I had been waiting to hear for too long.

"Took you long enough, Stefan. I thought you'd never come to your senses. . .I love you too"


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N:**_** Here's to the story that I thought I wasn't going to write any more for. Enjoy, sorry for the wait and thank you to everyone that has read it and provided constant support!**

hey moved too quickly up the stairs for Elena's eyes to keep up, so she let them slide closed and focused on her other senses. Pressed against Stefan so closely, she could feel every rise and fall of his chest, hers moving in unison. The warmth from his fingers radiated up through her spine leaving a comfortable glow trickling through her insides. It was strange though, she thought, everything in their relationship had been so _epic_, from their break ups to their reconciliations. _This_ though. This wasn't, -but surprisingly it was refreshing. This was the same house they had always been in, the same jaded light hit the banister from the upstairs window. The same smell of grass and cinnamon lingering on Stefan's skin. This was them, the real thing. The way they should be- simple, passionate and easy.

Suddenly her feet were on the thick carpet of the stairs, she opened her eyes in shock. He thrust his hands against the walls behind her, leaning in closely. There was no escape - not that she was looking for one. She arched her body up in answer to his but he pushed her back firmer against the wall and came down harder against her, pinning her in place. A look of pure lust filled his eyes - a different kind from the one he had experienced in the lounge only minutes before.

"Stefan what's wrong? Are you- _Oh..."_

Her question was caught in her throat as he leaned in close to her, placing delicate kissed along her neck, moving up to trace the line of her jaw. A small moan escaped her lips, followed by a thick coating of goose bumps along her arms. He leaned back slightly to enjoy the reaction he had coaxed from her before moving in closer again- a sly smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

"Well, I've been held captive a lot recently but this - well _this_ is my kind of cell." She commented while gliding her hand down his chest evoking a shutter from him. " A room with a view." She whispered into his chest forcing a second shudder to follow the first.

Elena's eyes involuntarily fluttered closed but she didn't try to stop them, instead she let her head fall back against the wall behind her, going limp in Stefan's arms as he moved towards her ear. With a throaty chuckle he slid his tongue over the outer rim of her ear before finally stopping to pay special attention to her ear lobe. He gently sucked it into his mouth while grazing the surface lightly with his teeth causing another moan to escape from Elena- louder this time as she found the strength to wrap her arms around him, digging her hands into his back. Hungrily she began to push her hands under his shirt pulling it up as she went. His mouth quickly found hers as he arched away from her just enough to let his shirt rise to his elbows -

"Oh really Stefan? On the stair well? Perhaps you should wait until you are in the bedroom before you maul innocent girls to avoid- well to avoid embarrassing encounters like this, wouldn't you think?"

At the sound of her voice, every inch of Stefan grew rigid (well not _every inch_ ;) ) The lust in his eyes dulled and was instead replaced with... mild boredom? He sighed and pushed away from the wall, an action that seemed to require more effort than it should as his desire to just ignore her and get back to Elena weighed strongly on his mind. For all his feigned lack of interest though, Elena noticed that he had moved himself in front of her guarding her with a slightly hunched back and barely masked fangs.

She supposed you could never be too careful when it came to-

"Katherine." He greeted with mild disgust coating his voice. "To what do we owe the great displeasure of your old, haggard face?"

"Oh please, we both know that I'm still as beautiful as that piece of meat behind you- more so , in fact, because I'll stay this way. While you? Well _you_ will in fact be a grey old hag in no time."

"Charming Katherine. Good to see you again." Even speaking her name made Elena's skin crawl. Where she had once held hatred for Katherine instead been replaced by pity as she had come to know her- and not through your usual coffee dates or hang outs. No, more through the continuous torture, abductions and overall bloody encounters

"I am charming aren't I? You on the other hand are a sight for sore eyes. Is that- hang on is that a grey hair I see? Oooh. So it begins."

"I don't mind getting old Katherine, I already have everything that you want so that's enough satisfaction for me to die happy at any age." She retorted with as much sarcasm in her tone as she could manage but couldn't help but turn away from her and pat her head self-consciously.

Katherine let a small hiss escape her lips as she leaned forward slightly; "You little-"

"What'll it be Katherine?" Stefan interjected with more venom in his tone this time while mirroring Katherine's posture.

Her eyes instantly shifted back to Stefan and she straightened her posture coating her lips with her most charming smile as she repositioned her brown locks over her shoulder. "Well aren't we certainly more animalistic than ever - first the appalling mauling that I witnessed before and now this? Perhaps you've been hunting too much lately Stefan, "you are what you eat" or whatever it is they say. Not that I've ever found a woodland creature this _sexy_ before, wouldn't you agree Elena?"

Even when asking Elena, Katherine's eyes never left Stefan's face. Even this tense encounter with him left a look of utter rapture in her eyes- it was as though she revelled in their heated banter. The thought made Elena's stomach turn as she wondered, for about the hundredth time, what their relationship had been like when they first met. Did they argue like this? Was the same level of adoration shadowed in her eyes as there was now? She had never really asked Stefan much about it and he certainly hadn't been forthcoming - but seeing that look in Katherine's eyes, one that Elena was sure mirrored the one she had worn back then only confirmed how violently consuming their relationship had been... much likes hers and Stefan's. The thought sent another shiver down her spine, and not one filled with pleasure like she had experienced earlier that evening.

"See Katherine the thing is, if I was to describe you in one word, of course skipping the obvious choices; bitch, vindictive, evil of course, I think I would have to go to 'flakey.' So how about for once in your life, you choose to do something like, hm, disappear? and you stick to it- please."

"Surely your mother taught you better than that- didn't you Lilli?

"Oh you know Stefan, of course I did but would he listen to a word I ever said? Of course not." She remarked as she stepped out from behind him. Elena was shocked by the grace and elegance that radiated Stefan's supposedly _dead_ mother. It was as if she were born from royalty- and she knew it. She was beautiful, with long brown ringlings trailing down her back and skin that looked like it had been sculpted from marble. She wore a long flowing velvet dress that would only ever be seen in a thrift shop window in this time but on her, well it was like it was made especially for her - it probably was.

After the initial shock passed, Elena glanced down to Stefan's face on the step below her. His face mirrored the expressions she was sure she wore herself - utter confusion.

"Oh don't be so shocked, more reunions to come dear."

" But how is that even..." He started before trailing off as if the words escaped him.

"well we are vampire's darling. -

"It's in our job description to live forever." A man finished from behind Lillian and before even seeing his face, Elena knew. 

"dad.."

_**A/N: **_**Okay so please don't lynch me or whatever they did in those times, I know I promised a steamy scene but after months of writers block, this is what came to me so I just let my fingers do the decision making. This was an idea that I had been toying with for months so I'm going to run with it. THERE WILL BE A SCENE- eventually so don't lose hope haha. Cheers guys.**


	11. Chapter 11

**AUTHORS NOTE: **_Hey guys sorry its been so long ive been working on some other stuff and have been pulled away from this show a little but i'll continue to keep the updates coming more frequently now i promise. Hopefully it was worth the wait, enjoy._

_**AND PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK**_

_S_ilence gripped the room squeezing the oxygen from everyone's lungs. Elena's breath faltered and her knees quaked under her. She moved to step forward but her legs gave out, unable to carry the weight of the news thrown at her moments earlier.

Wordlessly Stefan turned and caught her around the waist. He lifted her tenderly and placed her on the same level as himself, still partially behind him. She glanced at him briefly, only allowing herself a fleeting moment to shift her gaze from her fathers face. His eyes were wide and distant. He didn't even notice her gaze on him but felt the shift in her body so he just shook his head slightly instead, warning her not to speak. She rubbed his arm in an effort to ease the tension radiating from him but he simply shrugged her off. She flinched but didn't attempt to touch him again, instead easing into the corner of the stairs behind him.

No one said anything and the silence stretched on, leaving them all to agonise over their own thoughts.

It was Stefan's mother who broke the silence first with a wry, un-amused laugh. Stefan involuntarily flinched at the cackle that escaped his mothers lips as it chiselled at his so carefully constructed icy front. Elena could see him quaking slightly and reached out to him again, only to stop herself half way and let her hand limply return to her side. She scrunched her fist resisting the urge to touch him- to comfort both him and herself.

" Truly children now a days -Sinfully over dramatic." She said in an elegant condescending tone.

" Honestly Stefan, you've had a century to mature and grow out of this and yet here you are, the same as ever. But worst than that I hear you're not even a meat eater anymore. Why do you do this to yourself? Why deny who you are? _What _you are?"

"I know Lill, I've tried telling him this but do you think he listens?It's that bit-"

"Enough of that Catherine. Know your place. I won't hesitate to rip your throat out and feed it to you."

Catherine shrunk back behind Lillian and looked to Elena with hooded eyes. When they made eye contact she bared her fangs but Elena hardly even noticed, and definitely didn't flinch in the way that Catherine was so accustomed to seeing - it was clear she was too shocked by Lillian's outburst. She looked away again focusing on nothing in particular and hung her head slightly.

"Tell me whats going on mother. Believe it or not I'm in no need or mood for surprise visits or life counselling from the woman I believed to be dead for decades. I woman who _let _me believe that she was dead for decades." Stefan spoke in a hushed breathless voice and it was clear he was holding back more than shock. He was angry _\- no. Furious _Elena realised.

"Now now no need for that, obviously explanations to come, but for now why don't you give me a hug?" She said the words coated in venom, her lips pulled back into a mock smile revealing her perfect teeth. At her age they should be beyond decayed but they were completely flawless._A perk of living forever I guess_, Elena thought while licking her own teeth.

Stefan remained immobile in his position on the stairs making it clear he had no intention to return his mother's warm gesture. She sighed loudly enough for even Elena to hear with her inferior human ears and moved forward towards them without hesitation. It was clear she was either oblivious to, or pretending to not notice Stefan's increasing hostility as he hunched forward mimicking the position he had been in when Catherine had entered. But while Catherine had been offended and somewhat intimidated by Stefan's show of dominance, Lillian only offered another sickening chuckle and kept moving forward- smile still intact.

A small growl escaped Stefan's lips as he hunched further forward and pushed Elena further into the corner she was already retreating into. He arched his arms out in front of him and slowly stepped forward,challenging her. Whether she noticed again was unclear as she continued to advance towards him. When she finally reached him the room was filled with static and tension until it was impossible to breathe. She reached forward and rubbed her hand up Stefan's arm in her own show of dominance. She tugged him forward slightly so that he was standing on the same level as her and pulled him into a tight embrace. One hand remained on his arm as she snaked it around her waist while the other rested on the nape of his neck, firmly pulling his head in towards her. He made no effort to touch her in return and instead he simply stood frozen where she had pulled him. After a few moments of awkwardness and unrequited affection she let out an exasperated sigh and pushed him aside, instead setting her gaze hungrily upon Elena.

" Ah I see, so this is our newest treat Stef. Personally I can't imagine she'd be more fun than Catherine dear, less ... durable wouldn't you say?

A savage growl that could have been mistaken for a while animal escaped from Stefan's lips as he lunged for Lillian's arm attempting to pull her down away from Elena. He made contact... but so did she.

She turned towards him effortlessly, not sparing a single movement. Her perfectly manicured fingers tore into his forearm as she turned again, this time facing the door. It was as if time froze as Elena processed the scene playing out before her. Her dad's eyes hadn't moved from her face, he was staring at her with... longing? It was hard to tell because it was clouded with so many emotions. Catherine stood where she was partially shocked but she attempted to mask it with a confident smile as she watched the man she so clearly loved get attacked by someone she was obviously close with to some Elena there was no question, she was looking at Stefan. She saw the look of agony capture his face briefly as his mother tore into his arm. Then the savage vindictive Stefan overtook it again... but it wasn't long before the previous agony returned and held him captive indefinitely.

Lillian had turned to face away from Stefan after deeply embedding her fingers into his arm. It happened so fast after that. She pulled Stefan off balance. Kicked her leg out. Pushed and pulled at once and just like a poorly constructed toy...

Pop.

Wails of agony filled her house, clawing at the walls looking for some reprieve. They didn't find it in Lillian. She tossed Stefan's right arm aside easily and licked her fingers, savouring the bitter moved towards Stefan as he crawled towards Elena while cradling his now missing forearm. She reached out suddenly and grabbed a fistful of his hair. A hysterical cry escaped Elena's lips, pleading with Lillian not to do what was about to come next. Lillian arched Stefan's head back so his body was bowed away from her and he was looking directly at Elena

_I love you..._

_close... your ... eyes _he mouthed as a sad smile touched his lips.

She cried louder now, holding one hand over her mouth to hide it and the other reached out towards him.

Lillian simply shook her head in mock humour and ran one of her long nails up his exposed throat - hard enough to draw blood. She wasted no time licking the blood off her fingers this time, no doubt knowing that there was plenty more to be shed soon.

" Elena honey, not everyone are born to live forever."


End file.
